Saturday, January 29, 2011

sometimes i feel like i'm invisible to my family members.

i think their life would be happier when i'm not around.

everytime when i did something wrong, they will make me feel even bad.
i feel like i'm the bad guy here.
omg, i can't believe i'm crying while typing this.

all they care for are my siblings.
whatever they want, they will give it to them.
but me? when i asked for $10 for my lunch and dinner breaks, it feels like i'm asking for a $50. it's hard for them to give me something that i really need.

when i received my pay, they would asked me to give them half of what i've earned. they don't understand that i need the money to buy clothes for my poly life.

i wanted to give them $100 each. and they said that it wasn't enough. see, this is an example of people who don't appreciate others.

they don't even fucking care for me.
they don't know that i really work hard to earn and support this family.
my body is aching and they don't know that.
i'm sick and haven't eat, and they don't even bother to CARE. fuck that.

how i wish i wasn't even alive.
i don't have to bear with this right.

sigh. i studied so hard and secured a place in polytechnic and all they did were this?! they don't think that i have made them proud.

it's better if i fail right.
my aunt who stayed near us, is happier and proud that i've secure a place in poly. how i wish she was my mum even though she's just a factory worker.

that's what i like about less average-typed of people.
they are proud of anything even though they are not as rich as the others.
they value and appreciate with what they got.
i wish to be like them.

i really like my aunt's family.
all of them are so good to me.
i wish i was part of their family.

goodbye. going to JB with my 'family' now, i think.
see my mood lor.